|
Is Your Child
Playing with Fire?
by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional
Intelligence Coach
I grew up with the Edwards boys,
Eddie, Freddie and Paulie, I'll call them. Paulie was the youngest and
his face and hands were terribly scarred. Eddie and Freddie had found
some matches and gone out back and set a fire, bringing Paulie along to
watch. Somehow Paulie was the one who ended up disfigured in this
misadventure which turned into a family tragedy.
Most of us don't leave loaded guns
lying around the house, or sharp knifes when there are children present,
yet we leave matches, lighters and fireworks where they are readily
accessible for children.
Did you know that in the US about
half of all intentionally-set fires are set by children, causing
tremendous property damage and sometimes tragic disfiguring of the
child, and loss of life?
Why children set fires varies,
according to the experts. Michael Slavkin, Ph.D., who works with
fire departments on juvenile fire-setting prevention and treatment
believes fire-starting can signify underlying psychological problems.
The child may be using fire-setting to communicate pain, depression or
anger.
However, younger children
especially may play with fire out of curiosity. They don't really
understand the danger involved.
One thing on which all agree is
that if the matches or lighter weren't available, the fire couldn't have
been started.
In Orange County, California,
where 40-60% of the reported fires are started by 2-18 year olds,
psychologist Ken Fineman, Ph.D. helped to start a coalition for
education and treatment. He says multiple factors contribute to
fire-setting such as "personality characteristics and family and social
circumstances."
If your child is unhappy and
experiencing problems, there should be other clues - behavioral changes,
changes in eating or sleeping habits or school performance, isolation,
aggression. But fires are also started out of curiosity and because
children don't understand that fires can cause harm.
Responsible parents educate their
children about the hazards of fire, have fire extinguishers, smoke
alarms, and an escape plan in place and known to all family members, and
not only put away but lock up matches and lighters. Caution should be
taken in the use of candles when there are young children present as
well, and children should always be supervised around open flames such
as gas stoves and fires in fireplaces.
Without taking the necessary
precautions, says Dr. Slavkin, "it's only a matter of time before
someone gets hurt."
©Susan Dunn, MA Psychology,
Emotional Intelligence coach,
http://www.susandunn.cc . Susan is the author of "How to Develop
Your Child's Emotional Intelligence" and offers coaching and Internet
courses for your enrichment and personal development.
sdunn@susandunn.cc for free
ezine; put "ezine" for subject.
|
